


Mistakes were Made (but not by Loki)

by NamelesslyNightlock



Category: Avengers Assemble (Cartoon), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Humor, Incompetent Villains, Kidnapping, Loki (Marvel) is Not Amused, M/M, Protective Loki (Marvel), Tony Stark is amused
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-04
Updated: 2019-06-04
Packaged: 2020-04-07 16:45:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,480
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19089040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: The other villains have been trying to get Loki to join them for ages, and when they manage to capture Tony Stark, they think they’ve got the perfect gift to finally lure him over to their side.They’re entirely wrong of course, and to make matters worse, they’ve made Loki late for his date.





	Mistakes were Made (but not by Loki)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jaxonkreide](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaxonkreide/gifts).



> **jaxonkreide** threw this idea at me in [a comment](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/215686559) on one of my other fics and it needed to be written. 
> 
> It's set in the Avengers Assemble universe, since the villains were even more incompetent than originally planned xD enjoy!

When Loki heard the rumours, he had to pause and breathe for a minute, resting his head in his hands and taking a moment of silence for all of the braincells that seemed to have collectively been lost.

Honestly, it was no wonder that the Avengers had not yet ever managed to get anywhere _near_ Loki, if this was the rabble that they were used to rounding up.

Loki knew, of course, that the Cabal had been hoping he would join them ever since they had formed a few months earlier. Red Skull, MODOK, Dracula, and Attuma apparently could not simply continue their plots without him, because they just kept trying to recruit him with the determination of a child who had been told that they were too short to ride a stallion. They tried over and over and over again, and they _would not give up_ , no matter how many times Loki shot them down.

So when Loki heard on the grapevine that their next attempt to sway him to their side involved Googling ancient rituals and then conducting a human sacrifice, he wasn’t exactly _surprised_ , but he was– well, no, actually. To be disappointed meant that Loki needed to have expectations to begin with, and his expectations where the Cabal were concerned were very, very low.

He didn’t think that it was worth bothering with, because it wasn’t like they could actually _summon_ him or something like that. And besides, he had a date in less than an hour, and he had already donned one of the expensive Midgardian suits Anthony liked. It would not do to get it dirty.

But when Loki appeared in his lover’s penthouse to collect him for their evening, it was to find that Anthony was not there.

“Where is he?” Loki asked, not quite worried _yet_. After all, there was every chance that Anthony had simply become distracted in his workshop and lost track of the time—

“I do not know,” JARVIS said, his voice strained. “Mr Stark left some hours ago, and he has not returned.”

Loki paused.

_No._

_Surely they hadn’t_.

But the thing about low expectations is that Loki was also willing to accept the likelihood almost _any_ level of stupidity.

“Right,” Loki sighed. “Don’t worry, JARVIS, I think I know where he is.”

“Mr Liesmith, should I contact the other Avengers—”

“Don’t bother. I shan’t be long.”

In fact, it hardly took any time at all to locate the Cabal– after all, they were trying to be found, and they were practically screaming out and _asking_ him to come and join them. And sure enough, when Loki skywalked into the middle of the warehouse they had appropriated, it was to the sound of the warmest welcome he had ever received from beings who were about to face his… well, not rage, exactly. Maybe annoyance.

“Loki!” Red Skull greeted, raising his arms in an overly dramatic welcome. “You are here!”

As far as Loki could see, three of the Cabal were in the warehouse– and, going by the way they all stared at him with complete delight, it seemed that they had just been discussing the best way to invite him there. Well, it seemed that Loki had done their work for them and saved them from their own incompetence.

“I heard that you have something for me,” Loki said simply. He didn’t bother keeping the irritation out of his tone, but they only seemed encouraged by it.

“We do,” Red Skull replied. “A gift of the highest—”

“We caught an Avenger!” MODOK cackled. “And now that you’re here, we can do the ritual together!”

Red Skull scowled, clearly upset over having been denied the chance to announce that himself.

“An Avenger?” Loki asked, arching a brow.

“Yes, we have captured Iron Man himself,” Attuma boomed, already moving toward the staircase in the corner. “Come!”

Loki didn’t bother waiting for them– he knew their methods well enough by now to guess, and it was a simple matter to step though the space between worlds and into the basement. He could hear the others clattering down the stairs, but his focus was on the man in the middle of the room.

Anthony was on his knees, bound and gagged– and maybe Loki would have enjoyed the sight in a different circumstance, but the knife held to his throat by the king of the vampires rather ruined the image, finally sparking his anger.

“Loki,” Dracula greeted, actually having the gall to _smile_. “It is good to see that you have—”

Loki threw out his hand and slammed him against the wall with a simple surge of his seiðr, sending the knife flying. He heard a groan but hardly spared the vampire a glance as he knelt down in front of Anthony, placing his hand gently on the side of his lover’s neck and letting Anthony’s rapid heartbeat slow his own.

Anthony glared up at him, his eyes narrowed and not far off from spitting flame.

Oh, good. If Anthony was angry, then he was probably fine.

“I see you have found him,” Red Skull said from behind, sounding slightly out of breath. “I hope that this demonstration of our strength will prove to you that we are worthy of your—”

“I have never really enjoyed human sacrifices,” Loki said, holding Anthony’s gaze as he hooked his fingers under the gag. “It always seemed a little useless. I much prefer gold or a live sheep.”

Red Skull spluttered a little, and Attuma took the reins.

“I am sure that we would be able to get that for you, if you would prefer?”

“No thank you,” Loki said. It was easy to release the knotted gag – as well as the rope at Anthony’s hands and feet – with a small spark of his seiðr, and when he stood, he helped Anthony up with him. “I’m only here to collect my boyfriend. We have a reservation.”

The looks on the Cabal’s faces ranged from shocked to disbelieving to outright _horrified_.

“What?” MODOK exclaimed. “You’re—”

“Loki,” Red Skull interrupted, raising his hands in surrender as his eyes darted to where Dracula remained slumped against the wall. Clearly, Red Skull was wisest among them. “We didn’t know.”

“No, they did. I tried to warn them,” Anthony said, his tone light despite the fire that still burned in his eyes. “They didn’t believe me when I said you wouldn’t be too happy if they slit my throat.”

Attuma lifted both hands, apparently realising the danger. “Loki, please—”

“I will not kill you this time,” Loki started– then every one of them seemed to deflate, and Red Skull actually raised his eyes to the ceiling.  

“Thank you—”

“But if you ever touch him again,” Loki said, his seiðr swirling around him threateningly, “I will tear all of you to pieces.”

Anthony was shaking at Loki’s side– through from laughter, not from anger or fear.

The Cabal clamoured to agree, but Loki was done listening. He took Anthony in his arms and brought them straight back home. As much as he would have liked to go directly to the restaurant – they only had a few minutes left to make their reservation, now – his priority was making sure that Anthony was all right.

And the moment they arrived back in the penthouse, Loki tucked Anthony under his chin and held him close, pressing a soft kiss to his hair.

“Hey,” Anthony said, returning the hug and tilting up his head to touch his lips to the line of Loki’s jaw. “Thanks for coming for me.”

“Always,” Loki whispered, his eyes falling closed for a moment before his lips curved up into a smirk. “Although, I am rather surprised that you had not managed to escape yourself.”

“I would have.”

“I am sure.”

“I had plan.”

“Of course.”

“I knew that you would come.”

Loki didn’t actually doubt that Anthony would have managed to free himself, but the fact that Anthony had trusted that he would come warmed him through, and he leaned down to catch Anthony’s lips in a sweet kiss.

So, all in all, the night turned out to be a good one. They missed their reservation but the pizza they ordered tasted just as good, because all that mattered was that they were spending the time together. (Plus, Anthony really _did_ like the suit, apparently even more so after watching Loki rescue him in it.)

And as a further bonus, the Cabal never tried to attack Anthony again, even fleeing the scene every time Iron Man joined an Avengers fight rather than risking hurting him. Anthony found it even more irritating than the kidnapping and attempted sacrifice had been, but the sight of them turning tail never failed to make Loki smile in satisfaction.

What do you know, maybe they did share a few braincells between them after all.


End file.
